Category Archives: Good Words

Three Things

3 things in life that never come back when gone:

-⌚Time

-👅Words

-💎Opportunity
3 things in life that should never be lost:

✌-Peace

-👌Hope

-👐Honesty
3 things in life that are most valuable:

-💕Love

-👫Faith

-🙏Prayer
3 things that make a person:

-💪Hardwork

-👼Sincerity

-🙌Commitment
3 things that can destroy a person:

-👀Lust

-🎎Pride

-😖Anger
3 things in life that are constant:

-😃Change

-😱Death

-☁God
3 people who love you and who will never leave you alone:

 – The Father

 – The Son

 – The Holy Spirit
I asked God for these three things:

 – To bless you

 – To guide you

 – To ALWAYS protect 

Forgiveness 용서

Forgiveness sometimes takes great courage but it restores relationships and brings great joy.

It is said that, “The first to apologize is to bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.”

 

용서는 종종 큰 용기를 필요로 한다. 그러나 그것은 관계를 회복시키며 큰 기쁨을 가져다 준다. 아래와 같이 말이 있다.

“가장 먼저 사과하는 사람이 가장 용감한 사람이고 가장 먼저 용서하는 사람이 가장 강한 사람이며 가장 먼저 용서하는 사람이 가장 행복한 사람이다.”

좋은 글 (Wise Saying)

Wear the old coat and buy the new book.
– Austin Phelps-
낡은 외투를 그냥 입고 새 책을 사라.
 

 

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
-Dale Carnegie-
세상의 중요한 업적 중 대부분은, 희망이 보이지 않는 상황에서도 끊임없이 도전한 사람들이 이룬 것이다.
 

 

Respect a man, he will do the more.
– James Howell –
사람을 존경하라, 그러면 그는 더 많은 일을 해 낼 것이다.
 

맥아더 장군의 자녀를 위한 기도(1952년 5월)

맥아더 장군의 자녀를 위한 기도(1952년 5월)

내게 이런 자녀를 주옵소서

약할 때에 자기를 돌아볼 줄 아는 여유와
두려울 때 자신을 잃지 않는 대담성을 가지고
정직한 패배에 부끄러워 하지 않고 태연하며
승리에 겸손하고 온유한 자녀를 내게 주시옵소서

생각해야 할 때에 고집하지 말게 하시고
주를 알고 자신을 아는 것이 지식의 기초임을 아는
자녀를 내게 허락 하옵소서

원하옵나니 그를 평탄하고 안이한 길로 인도하지 마시고
고난과 도전에 직면하여 분투 항거할 줄 알도록 인도하여 주시옵소서
그리하여 폭풍우 속에서 용감히 싸울 줄 알고
패자를 관용할 줄 알도록 가르쳐 주옵소서

그 마음이 깨끗하고 그 목표가 높은 자녀를
남을 정복하려고 하기 전에 먼저 자신을 다스릴 줄 아는 자녀를
장래를 바라봄과 동시에 지난 날을 잊지않는 자녀를 내게 주시옵소서

이런 것들을 허락하신 다음 이에 더하여
내 아들에게 유머를 알게 하시고
생을 엄숙하게 살아감과 동시에 생을 즐길 줄 알게 하옵소서

자기 자신에 지나치게 집착하지 말게 하시고
겸허한 마음을 갖게 하시어
참된 위대성은 소박함에 있음을 알게 하시고
참된 지혜는 열린 마음에 있으며
참된 힘은 온유함에 있음을 명심하게 하옵소서

그리하여  나 아버지는 어느날
내 인생을 헛되이 살지 않았노라고
고백할 수 있도록  도와주시옵소서.

<맥아더장군의 기도문 에서>

A Father Prayer by General Douglas MacArthur (May 1952)

Build me a son, O Lord,
who will be strong enough to know when he is weak;
and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid;
one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat,
and humble and gentle in victory.

Build me a son
whose wishes will not take the place of deeds;
a son who will know Thee –
and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge.

Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort,
but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge.
Here let him learn to stand up in the storm;
here let him learn compassion for those who fail.

Build me a son
whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high,
a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men,
one who will reach into the future,
yet never forget the past.

And after all these things are his, add, I pray,
enough of a sense of humor,
so that he may always be serious,
yet never take himself too seriously.
Give him humility,
so that he may always remember the simplicity of true greatness,
the open mind of true wisdom,
and the meekness of true strength.

Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, “I have not lived in vain!”

10 Things to Pray For and With Your Child

10 Things to Pray For and With Your Child

 

We all want the best for our children, and prayer can be an important part of helping them to grow up. But how should we pray for them and with them?

Well, there’s no better guide for prayer than listening to Jesus. When His friends asked him how to pray, He suggested an outline we have come to know as “The Lord’s Prayer.”

This “10-Ways” list is based on these words of Jesus:

“Our Father in heaven, may your name be honored. Your kingdom come, Your will be done – in earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins, as we forgive the sins of others. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Yours is the kingdom, the power, and the glory. Forever and ever. Amen.”

  1. Pray that your kids make a real connection with God: this is the starting place. The fact of prayer assumes a God who is not distant. This is where we all must begin.
  2. Pray that your children honor the Creator: It’s important that kids learn to believe in a real God, a Being of light and power who we can’t help but respect and honor – a Creator they can revere rather than the light-weight “Heavenly Santa Clause” of myth. Prayer becomes more meaningful in the context of respect and reverence.
  3. Pray they translate that honor into action: Kids who honor God are more inclined to participate in their Creator’s work. It’s the way “Thy will be done” turns into, “Yes, and we’ll do it every day.”
  4. Pray that they are well-equipped to meet every daily need: Prayer as a vehicle to honoring God, is less concerned with “God – give me what I want”, or “me, me, me” as a matter of course. But it is absolutely appropriate to pray that our kids acquire the wisdom and the skills to live in freedom, without going hungry and without fear.
  5. Pray that they your children understand the power of forgiveness: Our kids certainly don’t need to be saddled with the baggage so many of us carry around. So let’s pray that they understand and live in the knowledge that forgiveness and hope are always on the table.
  6. Pray that they are well-equipped to deal with temptation: We already know how difficult it is to live with integrity in a world loaded with stumbling blocks that trip us at every turn. So pray with and for your children – that they have the necessary tools (faith, education, family support, good friends, tenacity etc.) to resist. Here is a helpful All Pro Dad Article teaching us 5 Ways to Help Your Kids Stand for What’s Right.
  7. Pray that they will have the resources to defeat everything negative: “Evil” is more than just temptation. Sometimes evil is direct opposition, confusion, disappointment, worry, stress, people who hate, people who always try to break down what is right and oppose goodness. We need to be serious about our commitment to pray about these things. For ourselves as well as for and with our children. Here is an All Pro Dad article on 5 Ways to Give Your Kids Guts to Stand Up to Pressure.
  8. Pray that they will develop relationships that serve to strengthen them: This prayer – “The Lord’s Prayer” – suggests an approach to life that values balanced relationships. We were not created to live alone, without support. So let’s pray that our children develop the kind of relationships that will give them strength and, especially, choose well when it comes to a spouse.
  9. Pray that love will define them: The reason we pray at all is the belief that our Creator cares. God cares because God is love. So we should pray that our children learn to live with love as their defining value.
  10. Pray for the strength of the family: Our children are on the front lines of the new generation. Anything can be lost in one generation of disinterest, including the family. Pray that our children help to turn the tide.

 

Related Resource: 7 Life Hacks for Dads

Joe Queenan’s Guide to Public Speaking

I know whereof I speak. In fact, I know whereof I do not speak. Nishant Choksi

People routinely say that being asked to speak in public is their No. 1 fear, inspiring more dread than flying. The idea of speaking to a group of people, even if they know the audience, scares them…well…speechless. And when it does come time to mount the stage, inexperienced speakers only make things worse by resorting to corny jokes and sappy, improbable anecdotes. Their agony makes everyone else in the room feel uncomfortable. The room reeks of flop sweat.

There is also the flip side to public speaking: having to listen to it. Few things in life are more unpleasant than being trapped in a conference room or a banquet hall or a church or a mausoleum and being forced to listen to somebody run his mouth—especially the ones who think they’re funny. The class clown, now age 65. The expert with the PowerPoint presentation. The gadfly. The failed standup comedian. The CEO giving the self-congratulatory speech about doing well by doing good. The Mark Twain impersonator, the Ben Franklin stand-in, the doddering old fool who brings Washington Irving to life.

Nothing known to man is more grueling than having to listen to these bloviating huckleberries: amateurs who don’t know that they are amateurs. Which, in fact, is the very definition of an amateur. Though “bloviating huckleberries” comes pretty close to the perfect definition too.

I know whereof I speak. In fact, I know whereof I do not speak. Twenty-eight years ago, a woman who ran a speaker’s bureau heard a tape recording of me at a Washington, D.C., hotel, addressing a roomful of people working in public relations. It was my first speech, and I gave it just a few weeks after I’d had my first op-ed piece published in The Wall Street Journal: “Ten Things I Hate About Public Relations.”

Drawing on this material, as relevant today as it was then, the speech dealt with the untrammeled idiocy of contemporary flackery. The flacks, who had no illusions whatsoever about the virtues of the career they had chosen, loved it. It was a reasonably entertaining talk, though not one that would make anyone forget Mark Antony or Winston Churchill or Honest Abe or even Chief Joseph.

The woman contacted me. She said that I was amusing but unpolished. She thought I might have potential. So she sent me to a three-week course in public speaking at an office in Washington, D.C. Dutifully, I took Amtrak from Gotham down to the nation’s capital every Wednesday for the next few weeks and learned how to entertain a roomful of strangers. Our mentor was a patrician old pro who told us to maximize our strengths (wit, charm, savoir-faire, experience) and minimize our weaknesses (weak speaking voice, poor memory, shyness, no sense of humor).

There were four other students in the class; one of them was the future political commentator Chris Matthews, who was very unsure of himself at the time. This would later change. I learned the ropes quickly—always remember to thank the person who introduced you; start off with some lighthearted, self-deprecating anecdote; never, ever read a speech because the sight of all those sheaves of paper will make the audience lose heart—and the woman got me a gig addressing something called the American Recovery Association at their annual convention in D.C.

Getty Images

The fee was $2,000, minus a $500 commission and $650 to cover the cost of the course. The message was clear: If I handled this first assignment well, a rewarding career as a public speaker beckoned.

Things did not work out well. The American Recovery Association was, for all intents and purposes, the National Association of Professional Repo Men. And rather than addressing them while they were having lunch, I was billed as a sort of all-purpose, postprandial cutup.

After finishing their meal, The Men From Repo were herded into a large banquet room like lambs being led to the slaughter. Tough, street-smart lambs, some named Luther, some named Huey. I seem to recall that my introduction noted that I had been published in the New Republic. That really got the boys in the mood.

There were several hundred practitioners of the repossessive arts in the room that day, including repo wives and a smattering of repo children. Everyone looked like he had a shiv in his sock. Even the kids. They all seemed to come from places like Flagrant Buttes, Ark., and Fort Regret, Ind.

I gave pretty much the same speech I had given to the P.R. flacks the previous year, lighthearted fare about the humorous foibles of businessmen, investors, publicists. The flacks had laughed. The Repoistas didn’t. The Repoistas weren’t interested in the humorous foibles of businessmen, investors, publicists. That lay outside their bailiwick. I, too, lay outside their bailiwick. They hated me. They loathed me. They loathed my bailiwick.

The woman who ran the speaking service had hired a cameraman to record the event. This was going to serve as my promotional reel. When I started speaking, the cameraman was standing all the way in the back of the room. About 90 seconds into my spiel, he moved all the way up front and set up shop a few feet from the stage so that he could get nice, tight shots of me that wouldn’t show hundreds of Repo People grimacing, snarling, reaching for their truncheons.

The whole thing was a disaster. Nothing I said clicked. I think I even wisecracked about wrapping up the speech 20 minutes early and prorating my fee. Nobody laughed at that either. There was, I noticed, a nicely wrapped gift waiting on the far side of the stage. But they didn’t give it to me. The speech lasted about 30 minutes, and I don’t remember anyone laughing once.

At a certain point, as often happens in these situations—or so I have been told by the shellshocked survivors of similar debacles—I felt myself leave my body and waft over to the edge of the stage and watch this dire peroration slouch toward its ignominious conclusion as if somebody else were giving the speech. “I sure wouldn’t want to be that guy,” I said as I watched myself going down in flames, the way William Wallace must have felt watching himself getting hung, drawn and quartered at Smithfield in 1305. “This is just horrible.”

Afterward, at a reception at the National Press Club that the Repo Boys probably wished I hadn’t mustered the chutzpah to come to, I gamboled up to a well-turned-out patriarch and said, “Let me get this straight. Do guys like you go to Stanford and get M.B.A.s and then hire people to repossess merchandise for you? Or what?” He looked me up and down, contemptuously, and said, “Son, every single person in this room started out at 3 in the morning breaking into cars.”

“Now, would that include the children?” I asked.

That was, for all intents and purposes, the end of my speaking career. I was like Lord Jim or Icarus or the guy who made “Heaven’s Gate.” I’d had my shot at the big time, and I’d blown it. I was through. Done. Kaput.

These days, I occasionally do a little event at a university or the public library or a Rotary Club luncheon—usually unpaid—but those are in front of friendly, homogeneous audiences that I can easily manipulate. Neighbors will laugh at anything. Literally anything. Those local events are a piece of cake. But I would never give another speech to complete strangers, the sort of thing professional speakers do all the time. I am not good at it. I am gabby and well-informed and reasonably funny, and my material is more than adequate, but that is not enough.

Public speaking is a skill, and almost nobody has it. The ability to entertain an audience with which you are not perfectly attuned, an audience including a few people who may in fact, despise you, requires real talent, not just nerve.

I have seen such talent on display only twice in my life. Once was when Walter Cronkite gave the keynote address at a Tavern on the Green luncheon celebrating the introduction of a revolutionary power-surge protector—yes, saintly, incorruptible Walter did take those kinds of high-paying gigs. The other was a pre-graduation day speech that Seth MacFarlane (the “Family Guy” guy) gave at Harvard. Everybody else I have ever heard was awful.

Public speaking is no picnic in the best of circumstances. Most of the time, when an organization or civic group asks someone to address them, they really wanted someone else. No matter what they tell you, they really wanted Colin Powell. And if they are paying you even a modest honorarium, they will act like they own you, like they rented you out for the evening. In these circumstances, with a bunch of adult frat boys getting unnervingly chummy in that strange way that grown-up frat boys will, it is not surprising that so many speakers fail.

Still, most speakers fail because their speeches are no good. They often fall flat because they have a phoned-in quality, because they are stock speeches the speaker has given over and over again. No effort has been made to tailor the material to the audience being addressed, and the audience knows it.

I once heard a famous newsman tell a roomful of civic-minded suburban women that America needed to recover its lost passion for volunteerism, for doing important work pro bono. Civic-minded suburban women don’t need to be told about volunteering. Civic-minded suburban women are what keep small towns alive; the suburbs would die if they had to wait for the men to do anything they didn’t get paid for.

Other speeches fail because of inappropriate material. I once heard the founder of a celebrated toothpaste company talk about how his firm did not experiment on live rats. Did not, did not, did not. Never had, never would, come hell or high water.

This was an after-dinner speech in a church hall in front of a bunch of devout senior citizens. Dessert had not yet been served; nobody wanted to hear anything about rats. Anyway, most of the people in the room were members of the Greatest Generation. By and large, that generation didn’t lose much sleep over the plight of lab rats.

On a few occasions, my expertise in the field of disastrous speechifying has proved useful to others. I once had to talk a famous young British novelist down off the ledge when she found out that the 1,200 guests at the Metro-Detroit Book and Author Society luncheon expected her to speak and not just read to them. She was terrified.

I told her that the room was made up of people who loved books and loved the people who wrote them, so they would be well-disposed toward her. They would want to know about her background, her family, her ethnic group. This audience wasn’t the enemy. Nary a repo man was to be seen anywhere. This audience wanted her to succeed; only the cruel enjoy watching another human being embarrass herself.

The game plan was simple. I told her to make eye contact immediately with a sympathetic face and then work that person to death. Speak to that person as if she were an old friend. If she could find a second sympathetic face, terrific. Work them, back and forth. Do the Obama thing, side to side, back and forth, as if your head was on a swivel. But don’t scan the entire room looking for additional receptive targets because some Gloomy Gus, some snarling churl, could easily derail the whole experience with a disheartening sneer or yawn.

Once you’ve found one or two people who seem to like you, glom on to them with the Vulcan mind meld. And pray for the best. But stick to that strategy. Don’t get cute. Don’t push it.

The last time I spoke in public, at a bookstore in Connecticut, I spent the whole time trying to make the sullen woman sitting in the back row laugh. Just once. Just a titter. Just a halfhearted chuckle. Forget about eliciting a guffaw. A wisp of a smile would do. I used my best material. I went into overdrive. I swung for the fences. I reached back for the old fastball and let ‘er rip.

But my wife never laughed once.

—Mr. Queenan writes the Moving Targets column for The Wall Street Journal. His most recent book is “One for the Books.”

How To Make Your Life Better By Sending Five Simple Emails

July 16, 2013  by

How To Make Your Life Better By Sending Five Simple Emails

how-to-make-your-life-better

How to make your life better? All you need is email.

I’ve covered a lot of research on how to make your life better but many people struggle with implementing changes because it seems like a major undertaking. It doesn’t have to be.

You can make strides in 5 fundamental areas by just sending 5 emails.

 

HAPPINESS

Every morning send a friend, family member or co-worker an email to say thanks for something.

Might sound silly but it’s actually excellent advice on how to make your life better.

There’s tons and tons and tons of research showing that over time, this alone – one silly email a day – can make you happier.

Via Harvard professor Shawn Achor’s The Happiness Advantage:

This is why I often ask managers to write an e-mail of praise or thanks to a friend, family member, or colleague each morning before they start their day’s work—not just because it contributes to their own happiness, but because it very literally cements a relationship. 

(More on increasing happiness here.)

 

JOB

At the end of the week, send your boss an email and sum up what you’ve accomplished.

They probably have no idea what you’re doing with your time. They’re busy. They have their own problems.

For your boss, this let’s them know what you’ve been up to without having to ask and saves them from wondering and worrying. They’ll appreciate it and probably come to rely on it.

For you, it’s proactive and shows off your efforts, which Stanford professor Jeffrey Pfeffer says is the key to success in any organization:

…you should make sure that your performance is visible to your boss and your accomplishments are visible. Your superiors in the organization have their own jobs, are managing their own careers, are busy human beings.  And you should not assume that they’re spending all their time thinking about you and worrying about you and your career.

More on improving your work life here.

 

GROWTH

Once a week email a potential mentor.

Doesn’t have to be related to your job. Who do you admire that you could learn from?

As I’ve blogged about before, mentors are key to success.

Via The Genius in All of Us: New Insights into Genetics, Talent, and IQ:

Any person lucky enough to have had one great teacher who inspired, advised, critiqued, and had endless faith in her student’s ability will tell you what a difference that person has made in her life. “Most students who become interested in an academic subject do so because they have met a teacher who was able to pique their interest,” write Csikszentmihályi, Rathunde, and Whalen. It is yet another great irony of the giftedness myth: in the final analysis, the true road to success lies not in a person’s molecular structure, but in his developing the most productive attitudes and identifying magnificent external resources.

This is one of those things everyone seems to know but nobody does anything about.

It’s the age of the internet, folks. If you have Google and half an ounce of resourcefulness it’s not that hard to find almost anyone’s email address. If they have a website, their email is probably listed on it.

What do you write? Try Adam’s method or Tim’s method or Ramit’s method.

(More on the power of mentors here.)

 

FRIENDSHIP

Email a good friend and make plans.

What does research say keeps friendships alive? Staying in touch every 2 weeks.

Got 14 friends? Then you need to be emailing somebody every day.

And what should you email them about? Make plans to get together.

Research shows the best use of electronic communication is to facilitate face-to-face interaction:

The results were unequivocal. “The greater the proportion of face-to-face interactions, the less lonely you are,” he says. “The greater the proportion of online interactions, the lonelier you are.” Surely, I suggest to Cacioppo, this means that Facebook and the like inevitably make people lonelier. He disagrees.Facebook is merely a tool, he says, and like any tool, its effectiveness will depend on its user. “If you use Facebook to increase face-to-face contact,” he says, “it increases social capital.” So if social media let you organize a game of football among your friends, that’s healthy. If you turn to social media instead of playing football, however, that’s unhealthy.

(More on improving friendships here.)

 

CAREER

Send an email to someone you know (but don’t know very well) and check in.

These “weak ties” are the primary source of future career opportunities.

From Charles Duhigg’s excellent book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business:

In fact, in landing a job, Granovetter discovered, weak-tie acquaintances were often more important than strong-tie friends because weak ties give us access to social networks where we don’t otherwise belong. Many of the people Granovetter studied had learned about new job opportunities through weak ties, rather than from close friends, which makes sense because we talk to our closest friends all the time, or work alongside them or read the same blogs. By the time they have heard about a new opportunity, we probably know about it, as well. On the other hand, our weak-tie acquaintances— the people we bump into every six months— are the ones who tell us about jobs we would otherwise never hear about.

“But I don’t know what to say.”  Do any little thing that benefits them, not you. Try Adam Rifkin’s 5 minute favor.

Or just send them a link they might find useful.

Still stuck? Okay, send them the link to the post you’re reading right now.

If this has helped you with how to make your life better it can probably help them too.  😉

(More on how to network effectively here.)

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Related posts:

What 10 things should you do every day to improve your life?

What do people regret the most before they die?

What five things can make sure you never stop growing and learning?

6 Subtle Things Highly Productive People Do Every Day

6 Subtle Things Highly Productive People Do Every Day

  • Jun.  4, 2014,  5:44 AM

Ever feel like you’re just not getting enough done?

 

Know how many days a week you’re actually productive?

About three:

People work an average of 45 hours a week; they consider about 17 of those hours to be unproductive (U.S.: 45 hours a week; 16 hours are considered unproductive).

We could all be accomplishing a lot more — but then again, none of us wants to be a workaholic, either.

It’d be great to get tons done and have work-life balance. But how do we do that? I decided to get some answers.

And who better to ask than Tim Ferriss, author of the international bestseller The 4-Hour Workweek.

(Tim’s blog is here and his podcast is here.)

Below are six tips Tim offered, the science behind why they work, and insights from the most productive people around.

1. Manage Your Mood

Most productivity systems act like we’re robots – they forget the enormous power of feelings.

If you start the day calm it’s easy to get the right things done and focus.

But when we wake up and the fray is already upon us — phone ringing, emails coming in, fire alarms going off — you spend the whole day reacting.

This means you’re not in the driver’s seat working on your priorities; you’re responding to what gets thrown at you, important or not.

Here’s Tim:

I try to have the first 80 to 90 minutes of my day vary as little as possible. I think that a routine is necessary to feel in control and nonreactive, which reduces anxiety. It therefore makes you more productive.

Research shows how you start the day has an enormous effect on productivity, and you procrastinate more when you’re in a bad mood.

Studies demonstrate happiness increases productivity and makes you more successful.

As Shawn Achor describes in his book The Happiness Advantage:

Doctors put in a positive mood before making a diagnosis show almost three times more intelligence and creativity than doctors in a neutral state, and they make accurate diagnoses 19% faster. Optimistic salespeople outsell their pessimistic counterparts by 56%. Students primed to feel happy before taking math achievement tests far outperform their neutral peers. It turns out that our brains are literally hardwired to perform at their best not when they are negative or even neutral, but when they are positive.

So think a little less about managing the work and a little more about managing your moods.

(For more on how to be happier, go here.)

So what’s the first step to managing your mood after you wake up?

2. Don’t Check Email In The Morning

To some people this is utter heresy. Many can’t imagine not waking up and immediately checking email or social-media feeds.

I’ve interviewed a number of very productive people and nobody said, “Spend more time with email.”

Why is checking email in the morning a cardinal sin? You’re setting yourself up to react.

An email comes in and suddenly you’re giving your best hours to someone else’s goals, not yours.

You’re not planning your day and prioritizing; you’re letting your objectives be hijacked by whoever randomly decides to enter your inbox.

Here’s Tim:

Whenever possible, do not check email for the first hour or two of the day. It’s difficult for some people to imagine. “How can I do that? I need to check email to get the information I need to work on my most important one or two to-dos?”

You would be surprised how often that is not the case. You might need to get into your email to finish 100% of your most important to-dos. But can you get 90% done before you go into Gmail and have your rat brain explode with freak-out, dopamine excitement and cortisol panic? Yes.

Research shows email:

  1. Stresses you out.
  2. Can turn you into a jerk.
  3. Can be more addictive than alcohol and tobacco.
  4. And checking email frequently is the equivalent of dropping your IQ 10 points.

Is this really how you want to start your day?

(For more on how to avoid the email trap and spend time wisely go here.)

Great, so you know what not to do. But a bigger question looms: What should you be doing?

3. Before You Try To Do It Faster, Ask Whether It Should Be Done At All

Everyone asks, “Why is it so impossible to get everything done?” But the answer is stunningly easy:

You’re doing too many things.

Want to be more productive? Don’t ask how to make something more efficient until after you’ve asked “Do I need to do this at all?

Here’s Tim:

Doing something well does not make it important. I think this is one of the most common problems with a lot of time-management or productivity advice; they focus on how to do things quickly. The vast majority of things that people do quickly should not be done at all.

It’s funny that we complain we have so little time and then we prioritize like time is endless. Instead, do what is important … and not much else.

But is this true in the real world?

Research shows CEOs don’t get more done by blindly working more hours, they get more done when they follow careful plans:

Preliminary analysis from CEOs in India found that a firm’s sales increased as the CEO worked more hours. But more intriguingly, the correlation between CEO time use and output was driven entirely by hours spent in planned activities. Planning doesn’t have to mean that the hours are spent in meetings, though meetings with employees were correlated with higher sales; it’s just that CEO time is a limited and valuable resource, and planning how it should be allocated increases the chances that it’s spent in productive ways.

(For more ways to save time go here.)

OK, you’ve cleared the decks. Your head is serene, you’ve gotten the email monkey off your back and you know what you need to do.

Now we have to face one of the biggest problems of the modern era: How do you sit still and focus?

4. Focus Is Nothing More Than Eliminating Distractions

Ed Hallowell, former professor at Harvard Medical School and bestselling author of Driven to Distraction, says we have “culturally generated ADD.”

Has modern life permanently damaged our attention spans?

No. What you do have is more tantalizing, easily accessible, shiny things available to you 24/7 than any human being has ever had.

The answer is to lock yourself somewhere to make all the flashing, buzzing distractions go away.

Here’s Tim:

Focus is a function, first and foremost, of limiting the number of options you give yourself for procrastinating… I think that focus is thought of as this magical ability. It’s not a magical ability. It’s put yourself in a padded room, with the problem that you need to work on, and shut the door. That’s it. The degree to which you can replicate that, and systematize it, is the extent to which you will have focus.

What’s the best way to sum up the research? How about this: Distractions make you stupid.

And a flood of studies shows that the easiest and most powerful way to change your behavior is to change your environment.

Top CEOs are interrupted every 20 minutes. How do they get anything done?

By working from home in the morning for 90 minutes where no one can bother them:

They found that not one of the twelve executives was ever able to work uninterruptedly more than twenty minutes at a time—at least not in the office. Only at home was there some chance of concentration. And the only one of the twelve who did not make important, long-range decisions “off the cuff,” and sandwiched in between unimportant but long telephone calls and “crisis” problems, was the executive who worked at home every morning for an hour and a half before coming to the office.

(For more on how to stop procrastinating go here.)

I know what some of you are thinking: I have other responsibilities. Meetings. My boss needs me. My spouse calls. I can’t just hide.

This is why you need a system.

5. Have A Personal System

I’ve spoken to a lot of insanely productive people. You know what none of them said?

“I don’t know how I get stuff done. I just wing it and hope for the best.”

Not one. Your routines can be formal and scientific or personal and idiosyncratic — but either way, productive people have a routine.

Here’s Tim:

Defining routines and systems is more effective than relying on self-discipline. I think self-discipline is overrated.

Allowing yourself the option to do what you have not decided to do is disempowering and asking for failure. I encourage people to develop routines so that their decision-making is only applied to the most creative aspects of their work, or wherever their unique talent happens to lie.

Great systems work because they make things automatic, and don’t tax your very limited supply of willpower.

What do we see when we systematically study the great geniuses of all time? Almost all had personal routines that worked for them.

(“Give and Take” author Adam Grant consistently writes in the mornings while Tim always writes at night.)

How do you start to develop your own personal system? Apply some 80-20 thinking:

  1. What handful of activities are responsible for the disproportionate number of your successes?
  2. What handful of activities absolutely crater your productivity?
  3. Rearrange your schedule to do more of No. 1 and to eliminate No. 2 as much as possible.

(For more on the routines geniuses use to be productive click here.)

So you’re all set to wake up tomorrow with a system and not be reactive. How do you make sure you follow through on this tomorrow? It’s simple.

6. Define Your Goals The Night Before

Wake up knowing what is important before the day’s pseudo-emergencies come barging into your life and your inbox screams new commands.

Here’s Tim:

Define your one or two most important to-dos before dinner, the day before.

Best-selling author Dan Pink gives similar advice:

Establish a closing ritual. Know when to stop working. Try to end each workday the same way, too. Straighten up your desk. Back up your computer. Make a list of what you need to do tomorrow.

Research says you’re more likely to follow through if you’re specific and if you write your goals down.

Studies show this has a secondary benefit: writing down what you need to do tomorrow relieves anxiety and helps you enjoy your evening.

(For more information on setting and achieving goals click here.)

So how does this all come together?

Summing Up

Here are Tim’s 6 tips:

  1. Manage Your Mood
  2. Don’t Check Email in The Morning
  3. Before You Try To Do It Faster, Ask Whether It Should Be Done At All
  4. Focus Is Nothing More Than Eliminating Distractions
  5. Have A Personal System
  6. Define Your Goals The Night Before

The word “productivity” sounds like we’re talking about machines. But the funny thing is that much of being truly good with time is about feelings.

How should you strive to feel when working? Busy, but not rushed. Research shows this is when people are happiest.

I couldn’t have written this without the help of Tim Ferriss and Adam Grant. Both volunteered their very valuable time.

Was that a waste on their part? They definitely won’t get those minutes back.

Helping others takes time but research shows it makes us feel like we have more time. And it makes us happier

Once you are more productive, you’ll have a lot more hours to fill. So why not use them to make others and yourself happier?

(I’ll be sending out more tips from Tim Ferriss in my weekly email so make sure to sign up.)

Join more than 45,000 readers. Get a free weekly update via email here.

Related posts:

How To Achieve Work-Life Balance In 5 Steps

Too Busy? 7 Ways To Increase Leisure Time, According To Science

8 Things The World’s Most Successful People All Have In Common

The post 6 Things The Most Productive People Do Every Day appeared first on Barking Up The Wrong Tree.

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Big Hospital Finally telling the truth about Cancer, Johns Hopkins

Big Hospital Finally telling the truth about Cancer, Johns Hopkins

LATEST CANCER INFORMATION from Johns Hopkins

AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY AND ELIMINATE CANCER, JOHNS HOPKINS IS FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOU THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY …

1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.

2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person’s lifetime.

3. When the person’s immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.

4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.

5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.

6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.

7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.

8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.

9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.

10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.

11. An effective way to battle cancer is to STARVE the cancer cells by not feeding it with foods it needs to multiple.

 

What cancer cells feed on:

a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Note:Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg’s aminos or sea salt.

b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soy milk, cancer cells will starved.

c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.

d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes t o nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells.

To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).

e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water–best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.

12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines will become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.

13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body’s killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.

14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body’s own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body’s normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.

15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor.

Anger, unforgiving and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.

16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.

How to Ace Your Next Presentation

Greg McKeown

Influencer
New York Times Bestselling Author

 

Mr. Frost, my superb economics teacher in England, once shared the story of two people talking about a lecture given by the late Milton Friedman, the father of Monetarism. The first said, “Twenty years ago, I went to the worst lecture I’ve ever heard! Friedman gave it and I still remember how he just muttered on and on and all I could make out was the word ‘money.’” The second man responded, “If you can remember what the key message was some twenty years later, I think it might be the best lecture you ever heard!”

 

Indeed, Friedman’s singular message — that by controlling the supply of money, you can stabilize the whole economy — became, arguably, the most impactful economic theory of the second half of the 20 century. The point I wish to emphasize is not an economic one, but a human one: if you try to say too many things, you don’t say anything at all.

 

It is clear, in the conference keynotes that I give anyway, that if we take on too many subjects, the message will not be remembered 20 days later, never mind 20 years later. The communication challenge is immense: often such events are packed with a dozen different speakers, each with a plethora of ideas. Then there is the digital distraction of the participants’ smart phones within easy reach. According to research reported in TIME magazine, the average phone user unlocks their phone 110 times a day and at the highest levels, 900 times a day. The best compliment I everreceived from a conference organizer was that she had not seen one person reach for a digital device during my presentation. That doesn’t happen every time, of course. But through trial and error over many years, I have learned a few lessons about ensuring that the essential message is heard amidst all the nonessential noise:

 

1. You can’t communicate what you haven’t defined. I was once asked to work with an executive team who wanted to find a sticky message for a new initiative they wanted to run. But after interviewing a series of executives involved, all on video, I realized the problem was really a strategy problem dressed up as a communications problem. They couldn’t communicate the message with greater effectiveness until they defined their message with greater clarity. And that meant making decisions about what their initiative was and what it was not. I have found that designing a message around the following helps: “I am teaching [this narrow subject] to [this specific audience] in order that they [clear learning objective/call to action].”

 

2. Lose the slides and have a conversation. I recently spoke at SXSW, a conference held in Austin, Texas that attracts thousands of creative movers and shakers.When I spoke, there was standing room only and a palpable energy. Sensing the pulse in the room, I killed the slides and just had a conversation. Basically, I asked one question: “Why are otherwise intelligent people tricked by the trivial?” Lots of people shared their thoughts and we riffed on each of the comments, which ranged from “We’ve been trained from our first days in school to do what we’re told without question,” to “We have so many things to do, we’re overwhelmed.”

 

Then, instead of simply moving on to another question, I led the conversation back to the same one. We just kept going deeper on the same question and the conversation in turn became richer. Slides would have inhibited that conversation. One person said afterwards that the session had been the highlight of SXSW for him; another said it was the most interactive session of the whole event. Slides lead people to lean back in their seats while a conversation causes them to lean forward and engage.

 

3. Kill your darlings. Stephen King has written that in order for a story to come to life, you must “kill your darlings, kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings.” The same type of self-editing can be applied to telling stories. Jack Dorsey, the CEO of Square and co-founder of Twitter, thinks his primary job is to be the Chief Editor of the company in order to “present one cohesive story to the world.”

 

4. Be repetitive without being boring. Alastair Campbell, the communications advisor to Tony Blair for years, explained at a CIPR conference the challenge we face today in getting a message through in our noisy world: You’re in a huge room with a wall on the far side that’s painted white. Your job is to paint it blue using only the paint gun in your hand. You shoot a single ball and it hits the wall on the other side and makes the tiniest blue mark. You’ve got your message out there once, but it’s still drowned out. So you shoot another ball over. Then another and another and another. You keep going with great persistence until you look over there and the wall starts to look as if you aren’t sure if it’s white or blue. This, according to Campbell, is the best you can hope for.

 

But before you can be repetitive, you have to decide on the one message you want to hammer home – which means prioritizing. When the word priority came into the English language in the 1400s, it was singular. What did it mean? The very first or prior thing. It continued to have that useful definition for the next five hundred years. However, in the 1900s we pluralized the term and started speaking of priorities. But can we really have many first or prior things? Words can be potent enough to change the world, but if we try to share too many different messages, we water down the power of our message.

 

Whether you’re an executive preparing to give a high stakes keynote or an event organizer (which might be the most underappreciated job out there), you want participants to be impacted and inspired. You want a home run, not another forgettable talk. You want participants coming up to you months—or years—later thanking you for giving that talk or bringing in that speaker. It can be done, if you practice the disciplined pursuit of less, but better. That is the price for having people say, “That was the best lecture I’ve ever heard.”

 

 

Greg McKeown’s new book has become an instant New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestseller. Order Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less today and learn how to say and no less but accomplish more.

Article originally published in Harvard Business Review.

 

 

Photo: CC licensed (BY-NC) flickr photo by mattcornock Design: LinkedIn